Reasons Why English is a Dumb and Needlessly Complicated Language 1

Partial Transcript of Private One-To-One English Lesson. Japan. 2005

'A' is Japanese Studying English. 'B' is Native English Speaker.

A: I enjoy talking with you. I love you.
B: ...Wait. You 'love' me?
A: I love you.
B: ...er...'love' is kind of a big word.
A: (writing it down) 'big word'?
B: Well, I mean it has big meaning. A big meaning.
A: 'Big meaning'? What's mean?
B: Like, 'I love you' is like you really, really like something. Someone.
A: Like だいすき? (Like a lot)
B: Yeah, but maybe even bigger.
A: ...
B: OK?
A: But you say 'I love coffee'.
B: That's true...
A: 'I love beer'.
B: Yes...
A: 'I love Sake'.
B: Yes, but what I mean is 'I really like it'.
A: But you say 'love'.
B: Well yes, because I really like it.
A: Why do you not say 'really like'?
B: ...Because...Because I really, really like it and that's just too many 'really's.
A: But always you say 'love' about beverages.
B: Bevera....
A: Can it be only beverage I love?
B: ...No, no - it can be anything.
A: Can I love...Pizza?
B: Yes, I guess so...yeah.
A: Can I love...baseball?
B: Yes, if you really, really like those things...
A: Can I love...(refers to electronic dictionary)...Racoon Dog?
B: Racoon Do...(glances over at electronic dictionary). Tanuki! ...Racoon Dog? Well yes. But you'd say 'Racoon Dogs'.
A: Why?
B: Well, because, if you like one...Racoon Dog, then maybe you would like more than one. Maybe you would like them all. So we say 'dogs' instead of 'dog' to mean 'more than one'.
A: 'Dogs'...OK, I see. Thank you.
B: You're welcome.
A: It is easy to speak with you. I love yous.
B:...Yeah...I love yous too. See you next week.


Blogger Hayato reckons...

Ano....Otsukaresama deshita. Michael-sensei. :)))

8:16 午後 JST  
Blogger pik reckons...


8:24 午後 JST  
Blogger DanInJapan reckons...

Quite well put pik! がんばれ!

11:05 午後 JST  
Blogger Indri reckons...

I would dread the prospect of explaining why "run", "walk", and "stand" all conjugate differently myself. Makes me want to take a nap just thinking about it.

11:47 午前 JST  


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