Here's a couple of faked tilt-shift lens shots I made.

Click this link to read a tutorial on making fake tilt-shift miniature shots in Photoshop CS or higher.


Friday is photo day

Two almost bald men at Angkor Thom.

A Khmer boy harrases turtles on the Angkor Wat walkway whilst hoping for adoption by Angelina Jolie. I saw this little guy throw a 50 riel coin back at a Western woman who'd given it to him. 3,998 riel currently equals US$1. $1.50 might get you a cup of coffee in the cheapest Siem Reap cafes. $3.50 might get you a small bottle of local beer. Or some noodles. The Western lady shuffled off, clutching her shiny Canon compact, her Gap khaki shorts gaping around the top of her white thighs, asking all who spoke English why the turtle kid was so upset. In Cambodian marketplaces, nobody accepts coins. It costs $20 for a one-day ticket to the Angkor Wat complex. This photo cost me a dollar.



If you write anything about yourself more than around three sentences in Microsoft Word - which maybe around 2 billion people have - the hugely frustrating animated paperclip will suggest that you're being too egotistical, that maybe you want to change some of those 'I's to something else.

The "It looks like you're writing a letter" paperclip.
The "Flesch reading ease" paperclip.

That paperclip makes me feel self-centred. All my 'I's underlined in a green, wavy line. Yeah, it looks like I'm writing a letter, and mostly, the letter is 'I'.

I've not written in a while.

Sometimes I'll change those I's to "He"s or "One"s or "Our correspondent says". Mostly, I'll just delete the whole file and go look at photos of Japanese robots on the BBC technology newspage. In three years I've never once seen a robot in Japan. Only salarymen, who are similar. I've lost faith in the BBC.

When Kurt Vonnegut died, I wrote a paragraph and sent it to the BBC. With the time-difference, I was only the third person to submit to 'Have Your Say' - the Kurt Vonnegut dies edition - in the whole world. I was the first person to quote 'So it goes', in the way I did, on Earth. In the whole solar-system. In this reality.

They rejected my comment.

What did for me, I think, is that I mentioned, in passing, the sad suicide of Kilgore Trout. I think I may have come across as something of a weirdo. Me, with the Vonnegut referencing email address these past many years.

I've not written in a while.

So it goes.

There are 20 uses of "I" in this entry. The Flesch reading ease is a 74.4.


Jesus Christ!

I don't expect anyone to really believe this, especially since I mentioned hopefully seeing the visage of Mother Teresa on a mango scarcely two posts away, but the image you see to the right appeared in talcum powder on the floor of my shower. I swear I didn't make this, it really, really, really did just appear. Yuka saw it too.
It's actually disturbed me a little. I took this photo then washed His face away. If I'd have been more pious I'd have looked for His feet and washed those instead.

I'm scared to shower.


Whilst I'd like everyone to think a lot has happened in my life since I purchased the Golden Mango™, nothing actually has. I did lose a tooth though. Now I have a hideously ugly completly metal one, a small souvenir of Japan's mineral deposits rammed into my gum. It's not finished yet, they're going to add more metal next week. They stick a smaller lump of metal to the bigger lump of metal and you're able to eat steak again as well as giving airport security a few abnormal beeps to panic over. Apparently all my back teeth are done for. From smoking since my teens. I'm advised to think about getting a blender. The new NHS cigarette pack warnings have come just a little too late. Let this be a lesson teenagers . If cancer is too unreal during your immortal years maybe your inherent vanity can be appealed to.

That's not my mouth in the picture, by the way.