Jesus Christ!

I don't expect anyone to really believe this, especially since I mentioned hopefully seeing the visage of Mother Teresa on a mango scarcely two posts away, but the image you see to the right appeared in talcum powder on the floor of my shower. I swear I didn't make this, it really, really, really did just appear. Yuka saw it too.
It's actually disturbed me a little. I took this photo then washed His face away. If I'd have been more pious I'd have looked for His feet and washed those instead.

I'm scared to shower.

Whilst I'd like everyone to think a lot has happened in my life since I purchased the Golden Mango™, nothing actually has. I did lose a tooth though. Now I have a hideously ugly completly metal one, a small souvenir of Japan's mineral deposits rammed into my gum. It's not finished yet, they're going to add more metal next week. They stick a smaller lump of metal to the bigger lump of metal and you're able to eat steak again as well as giving airport security a few abnormal beeps to panic over. Apparently all my back teeth are done for. From smoking since my teens. I'm advised to think about getting a blender. The new NHS cigarette pack warnings have come just a little too late. Let this be a lesson teenagers . If cancer is too unreal during your immortal years maybe your inherent vanity can be appealed to.

That's not my mouth in the picture, by the way.